As transformative and special sex magic can be, at the core of it is a nurturing relationship with yourself.
Sex magic begins with nourishing self care rituals. I’m not talking light 100 candles under the moon (although that IS fun) I mean appreciating you and your body for how you get through each day. It can be as small as how you smile at yourself after brushing your teeth, or the way you take care of your hair.
There are many varying opinions surrounding self care and what that looks like, from elaborate bath routines to planning a psychedelic high tea service for yourself and your coven mates (a personal favorite). I like to tell people I work with to just start small. Recognizing magic in your everyday life is a great way to start self care.
When you begin to see how your intentions and manifestations playing out, you build more confidence in your ability to do so in a more transformative way. Sex magic is a great way to begin to do that.
Being comfortable with yourself and your body can be difficult for some. Having grace with your journey is important to being successful. Gazing at yourself in a mirror is an easy start to using self care in your sex magic practice. I found it difficult to mirror gaze for a long time, and in case that’s something you can relate to I suggest focusing on a pet of yourself that you love. For me that was my shoulders. I’d just focus on those and how appreciative I was of them. What features do you love about yourself?
While admiring all that is you, bring your hands up to your face and just hold it. Gently massage your face with your fingertips and be mindful of how you feel while doing this.
Mirror Gazing for Self Appreciation
Your favorite affirmations
Patience and Grace
Light your candle and think on the intention you’re setting for this exercise. While you look at the candle flame start to think of the things you appreciate and love about yourself.
Look at the mirror and say those things out loud. Now say your affirmations, or if that doesn’t resonate with you, just say your name while you gaze at yourself. Recognize any unwanted feelings that might come up and let those thoughts go for now. Next, go through the routine of your day, think about the things you do for yourself, like sit in your car an extra five minutes to get your thoughts together before work; or the secluded spot you’ve discovered to have a quick smoke session and some time to yourself among the chaos of pets, kids, partners, work, and everyday life. You are a marvel, and this is just a reminder of that.
While admiring all that is you, bring your hands up to your face and just hold it. Gently massage your face with your fingertips and be mindful of how you feel while doing this. You can continue this in as many spots as you’d like, it’s a nice way to practice a little self love.
Repeat this process as often as you need. Remember to give yourself grace as you go through this process.
Sex magic can be and interesting way to bring more of your practice into your everyday life. Without an appreciation for yourself, continuing that practice can be difficult. Remember to take some time to slow down and appreciate the magical fucking being in the mirror.